Joint ventures, laughing out loud & special rate LinkedIn training

Joint ventures, laughing out loud & special rate LinkedIn training

I did something last week that is still making me laugh when I think about it.  I have to face facts: I need reading glasses. I had a meeting with someone with whom I may be embarking on a joint venture, and I asked to see examples of projects he’s created.  He named one as he flashed me the Internet on his phone.  Being a visual person, I focused on the image in front of me rather that the spoken word and was delighted to see it was, as he said, to do with Christmas.  I smiled at the illuminated reindeer pictured galloping in the header.

Returning home, I tried to find the website on my laptop, but with no luck.  I attempted many variations of the company name (including, of course, the keyword ‘Christmas’) but with no luck.  Eventually I gave up and emailed him.

How he laughed!  He hadn’t said ‘Christmas’ at all; he’d said ‘Chrysalis!’  I was so focused on the excitement of upcoming festivities that my brain heard what it wanted to hear.  Or, more technically, it selected the most closely associated word to the sound that matched the picture.  That was no Rudolph on the screen, but an outlined person glowing with the aura of a metaphorical rebirth; hence the chrysalis!  When he emailed me back I actually laughed out loud, and I’m still laughing.  No doubt he was so impressed with me he’s rushing to set up our proposed joint venture right now… Well why wouldn’t he?!!

Now I’m wondering what other pictures I may have misinterpreted lately.  If you’ve sent me one it might be a good time to resend it, and I’ll view it with my purple reading glasses on!  I suppose it’s akin to proofreading – and I definitely wear glasses for that. Whenever I’m copywriting anything or creating a website to tie in with a social media package, I obviously ensure it’s word perfect before emailing over to clients.

People need documents proofread by someone else, that’s a fact.  Our brain knows what it expects to see, so completely misses little mistakes.  I include a section on proofreading in my Plain English Business Writing training, so people love to tell me the worst example they’ve seen.  The best has to be a council in Essex where a woman sent a mailshot to 30,000 residents with the title: ‘You can count on us.’  No one proofread it.  No one saw it before she pinged the send button.  Lots of people saw the replies though…  There should be three ‘O’s in that sentence.  There were only two.  (You can work it out…)  That made me laugh too, even though it’s very rude.

Luckily I could see perfectly well on Tuesday when I trained two companies to use LinkedIn more effectively in their businesses.  So many people register on LinkedIn, set up a basic profile and connect with others they know, but completely miss the huge array of possibilities that this fantastic social network opens up to them.  Just like in the ‘outside world’ where businesses thrive on referrals, introductions and networking – so the same is true of this amazing platform.  You can source and target the people you need without leaving your chair, whenever it suits you and wherever they are in the world.

It’s a hotbed of opportunity that’s there for the taking if you just know how.  As I feel so passionate about this, between now and Chrysalis I’m offering six REDUCED PRICED one-to-one LinkedIn training sessions – completely focused on helping you achieve your business goals.  If you’re based in London (or happy to travel here) and you’d like to take advantage of this short-term offer, sign-up here and I’ll contact you within 24 hours to arrange a convenient date and time.

As Bananarama said (not the one time I sat with them in a café in Carnaby Street): “It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it; that’s what gets results!”  Want results?  Book here for starters.  And, as always, it’s lovely if you follow me here: @WeekendWitch.

Confidence building, angel funding and where there be dragons

Dropping off my son at Cambridge University last week was expected to be a major turning point in my life.  But what counts as a turning point?  Being asked to provide social media training was the key turning point in my business – an opportunity arose, I grabbed it and suddenly everything changed.  When I was studying for the first year of my degree I took an introductory course in humanities, and one of the assignments was to identify turning points in literature.  I don’t suppose I’d considered it as a defined term before that: it’s a life changing event after which nothing is ever the same.  There have been six in my life.  This wasn’t one.

The day made me smile.  To watch your child walk away with confidence to start a new life as an independent person is really quite amazing. Within hours he had a new home, new bunch of friends, new interests. New new new!  I felt so proud of what he has achieved, and quite pleased with myself too.  I believe that confidence is one of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone, so I think I’ve done my job reasonably well!


Actually, nothing much has changed.  The house is quieter, the cat looks confused, I cook a little less than I did before, but that’s about it. I’m still busy in the office creating social media plans and writing blogs for my clients.  This week I also built a website for a new Thai Restaurant – and I did it without the background noise of Xbox, three TVs, eight guitars, an electric drum kit and a piano.  So yeah, something’s changed.

The extra time I thought I’d have to indulge in a new hobby hasn’t emerged – well, if that hobby is scuba diving there’s not much point doing it at home anyway; the bath is big but not that deep and I don’t usually wear a bikini in it.  (By the way, thank you to the few people who have offered to take me on diving holidays to Egypt!!)  I’m still thinking about joining an art class though.  Working with Martyn makes me want to paint naked people floating around the moon.  Or perhaps that should be underwater.

Did I tell you that our collaborative artwork is going on display in north London in a couple of weeks?  His paintings including my poetry. I’ll be emailing about that this week so please don’t junk me!!  I have been reliably informed that there will be wine and nibbles at the opening so surely that makes it worth adding me to your email safe list. It will be fantastic if you can call in.

Angel Investor, fairy godmother… pretty much the same thing

I’ll be avoiding the wine that day – even the pink sparkly stuff that makes me giggle at networking events.  I had a bit too much this week at a launch party for a new investment venture organised by Dragons’ Den dragon Rachel Elnaugh.  The venture’s known as angel funding – the opposite of fire-breathing dragon scariness, but I guess without the delicacy of angel dust; after all, the propositions requiring this type of crowd funding investment are hardcore business ventures.

I didn’t do much networking; I split most of the evening between just two men who may create my next turning point…  One has already approached me about social media work and the other is an investor in various businesses, some of which made me laugh – but I can’t say what they are as he told me about them in confidence.  Still, he’s buying me coffee soon, or maybe pink wine – and a cream cake – so I’ll know more about his antics after that.

In the meantime, ‘I sit and wait – does an angel contemplate my fate?  And do they know the places where we go?’   You know where I go – what are you waiting for?  Follow me there: @WeekendWitch.

Motivational words, growing old gracefully and flowing streams of silk

Filling the O2 for the last leg of their world tour, Fleetwood Mac had 20,000 people on their feet belting out the lyrics to The Chain.  I own a lot of music – including a couple of hundred original albums on vinyl, but Rumours remains my all-time favourite.  And I can remember very clearly the first time I heard it.  It was 1986, in a tiny hotel in a quiet and uninspired corner of Minorca.  We’d booked last minute and my boyfriend had taken a huge cassette player – but forgotten the cassettes! (Some of my younger followers are confused by this prehistoric language…)  So all we had was the one tape already in the machine – Rumours!  We played it continuously for the whole week and it firmly established itself as key in the soundtrack to my life.


But even more than her music, Stevie Nicks’ style blew me away.  Watching her twirling around the stage on Tuesday like a girl on the edge of seventeen, it was very hard to believe she’s actually a woman of 65.  I am determined that the next 20 years will see me grow old as gracefully as she has. (But without the cocaine addiction, of course.)

I always choose nice clothes when I’m working. At the last networking event I attended, several people commented that I looked glamorous and brought colour to an early morning business meeting.  That was nice.  But outside of work my wardrobe is crammed full of chiffon layered skirts and floaty gypsy-type dresses, with dangling lace and delicate beading.  There’s a Jewish word that describes the flowing streams of silk and braiding that surround Stevie Nicks – and, often, me – shlorums!!

Stevie’s black net skirt and trademark platform boots could have come straight from my bedroom, I’m actually wearing something almost identical today.  The black satin ribbons bouncing around her tambourine also resembled something I like to stick in my hair. (Not on training days!)

So, a quarter of a century after Dale first introduced me to Mick Fleetwood and co, the mystical female lead is still hugely influential on me.  Although I can confirm that I’ve never been tempted to go blonde.  You may not know this, but rumours abound that Stevie Nicks is a witch, something she vehemently denies.  Her record label is Welsh Witch, which isn’t far off Weekend Witch, so maybe we have more in common that simply a love of shlorums!

It’s rare that I wake up sad but something had upset me on the morning of the concert.  I was very happy by the evening though; and her words are good advice to anyone who sometimes needs a bit of motivation. “If you wake up and don’t want to smile, if it takes just a little while; open your eyes and look at the day – you’ll see things in a different way.  Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow, don’t stop, it’ll soon be here!  It’ll be better than before – yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone.”

What are you doing tomorrow?  Forward planning is invaluable in business.  If you need help planning your social media strategy, marketing or simply planning to manage your time better, come and chat: @WeekendWitch

Thanks to Metroactive.com for sharing the lovely pic.

Displaying creativity, targeting the energy and juggling it all

I’m very excited this week that my poetry is being exhibited as part of a collaborative artwork with my talented friend and colleague Martyn Royce.  The ‘Art of Writing’ exhibition opened on Saturday in the Cornish town of Redruth where it will live for a month before making its way along the south coast back to London.  It will then be on display for a further month in Highams Park, North London, where you may be able to join me for a glass of wine and a private viewing.

Mine is a short and simple poem – just 33 words – that Martyn has handpainted across two canvases.  Together, we have personified the trauma of passionate love turned to ashes.   It depicts two people who once loved each other, but that love is now lost.  The breakdown of their relationship is reflected in the finality of the words, written in the most basic language to defy misunderstanding.  The sharp colour contrast acts as a metaphor for the polar emotional landscape between a lovelorn woman and man.  But who wrote to whom?  You can decide.

The Juggler

I’ll let you know when the exhibition reaches London and, if you can come along and view our creativity, that will be fantastic. In the meantime, Martyn’s painting of me caused a bit of a stir on Facebook.  It’s called The Juggler – and I am that, for sure!  Life, business, emotions, family, creativity, charity, the balls go on.  My ability to juggle everything has led to my new Time Management training session.  It focuses on achieving more effective use of business time, personalising for each individual a system that’s been proven to work.  The next session available to small- and micro-businesses is in November and I can’t wait!  I love helping business owners to achieve their goals, so if you fancy sharpening up your business strategy, this is a great place to start.

Something else that made me smile this week was an independent review of my book that appeared on Twitter: “The bright, breezy tone and diary style mean it all flows quite naturally and even when Renée touches on more serious points, it remains a thoroughly entertaining read.  An added bonus is that this book also comes with its own eighties-oriented soundtrack!  A quick yet engaging book which is bound to raise a few smiles as you read, but which will also get you thinking about your own approach to business and networking – and maybe a few other things too!”  Thank you, @ClairOverThere.

I attended a lecture on Pranic energy on Thursday – it’s not woo woo!  It reminded me that my daily meditation has lapsed a bit. Well ok, a lot.  Alright… completely.  We took part in some group meditation, right there in Euston, closing our eyes and filling our bodies with white light.  It would have been so peaceful if my friend hadn’t kept giggling. It was very funny.  I’ve long since acknowledged the energy we can harness from the environment, so it was awesome to learn about how to target it properly from a Grandmaster and his disciple.  Whether you believe that Eastern (and, sometimes mystical) therapies work to keep us healthy and energised – or you don’t – there’s no denying the huge world-wide following that finds comfort and pain relief from its powerful teachings.

With this week’s lecture and the excellent review, I’ve been well and truly motivated to get a move on with my social media book.  I’ve challenged myself to publish it by Christmas.  (Nice pressie for someone you know?)  So I’d better get writing…

‘Just close your eyes, again, until these things get better.  You’re never far away, but… we could send letters.’  Still love that.  We’re more likely to tweet, so here I am: @WeekendWitch.

Accountancy superstars, a Guinness world record and copywriting with love

It’s been a week for celebrations!

Firstly, I entered one of my clients for a major industry award and they’ve been shortlisted in both of the categories I submitted.  Nordens  has been named as one of the top five independent accountancy firms in Greater London.  I wrote them a brilliant application, even if I do say so myself!  They’re my accountants and I’ve worked closely with them for a long time so I wrote it with love.  One of the team – Joe – has been named as a top New Accountant in the UK – pretty impressive, huh?

They are a fantastic company – dynamic, innovative, completely customer friendly and absolutely the best at what they do.  In their bright, modern offices they have a dreaming room – how cool is that?  Their clients can lie back in deckchairs while the team comes up with creative ways to help their business grow.  I’m dreaming of lying in that yellow deckchair right now.  And best of all, they have a big bowl of chocolates on the table when you go in.

My ex-boyfriend Brian was also an accountant, but now he’s a high flyer in a software company.  I headed over to beautiful Berkshire to visit him last week.  We hadn’t spoken for a few months and it turned out that Brian has been in the press quite a few times this summer.  If you were one of the unlucky ones stuck on the M25 last month in a sweltering heatwave and seven car collision, you might remember the news reports focusing on one man, sitting alone amidst the turmoil, oblivious to the chaos around him and merrily carrying on his work in a makeshift motorway office.  That was Brian.
Isn’t this a wonderful example of cup half full?!  While everyone else was moaning and stressing, Brian took advantage of the time he had to himself and got some quality work done!  And… his photo was picked up from Twitter and did the rounds on all the news outlets so he achieved his five minutes of fame!   Or so you’d think….

In fact, Brian’s fame spreads far further than the M25 boundary, for he is a Guinness World Record Holder!  Yes, the second celebration of the week: my ex-boyfriend is the world’s greatest achiever at a sport!!  It’s not athletics.  Nor is it cycling.  Or football.  (Although he did once punch another of my ex-boyfriends on the football pitch and laid him out flat!)  But no, it’s not for boxing either.  Brian is the world champion at Toad in the Hole, a little known game that originates in Sussex and mainly stays there.  But it’s good fun and I wasn’t too bad when I had a go last week.

And finally, today is my first born’s 21^st birthday.  I’m not working this afternoon; I’ll be celebrating with a family party, a big pitcher of Pimms and a healthy selection of cream cakes.  Never mind Guinness World Records or British Accountancy Awards… it’s me that deserves an award.  My beautiful baby boy popped out after a mere 24 hours and 15 minutes of hard labour.  They say you forget the pain.  I haven’t. Happy birthday Ben, you’re an amazing son and I’m so proud of you every day.

At a huge celebration when Ben was 13, we started the dancing by whirling around the floor to this, together, mother and son – definitely a moment I treasure.  ‘I could stay awake just to hear you breathing.  Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you’re far away and dreaming.’ 

Whether you’re dreaming in a yellow deckchair or anywhere else, if those dreams include making your business more visible using social media, call me today and I’ll make your dreams come true.

Facebook memories, training in Essex and hiding behind the music

Essex is a fantastic place to live and do business.  If all you know is what you’ve seen on Towie, believe me – that’s not representative of the people, businesses or language.  Well, not this bit that doubles up as ‘east east’ London anyway!   So whilst I consider myself more of a London girl than an Essex one, I was pleased to be invited to attend a day promoting the training venues around the county.

Stately homes, crumbling castles, high tech architecture – we’ve got the lot.  And Essex County Council organised a day that I loved… partly because it included really good food!  A hotel breakfast was followed by an afternoon at the end of Southend Pier – the longest in the world.  Crispy bacon with fruit platters, chicken kebabs, roasted vegetable kebabs, creamy cheeses, olive bread, salads, freshly baked afternoon tea…  Now that’s what I call a good day’s work!
We were serenaded all afternoon by The Gershwin Gang Jazz Band; I do love a bit of jazz in the sunshine with a Pimms in one hand and a clotted cream scone in the other.  A friendly photographer shot around 1000 snaps (thank you for my pics, Matt!) and we chatted and networked until the tide rolled out on the clear blue horizon.  Well, towards Canvey…

Being on the pier always reminds me of the summer I was 15 and supposedly studying for my end-of-school exams.  My mother ran a gift shop on Clacton Pier – further north along the Essex coast, tacky, tatty and gloriously kitsch.  While she was busy working I met up with two boys I knew I’d never see again.  One was called Mark, a blond builder from somewhere up north that I met in a nightclub (this was pre-ID days).  I got bored of him quickly.  If I had a shift in the gift shop I used to hide behind the stacks of musical wind-up novelty trash when he came searching for me.

The other worked in the pier bar.  I can’t remember his name, but he had an industrial hoover that I sat on for rides around the pier – while he vacuumed it.  We knew how to live it up in the eighties!!  I came home that autumn safe in the knowledge that neither of these summer fling people would impact my life again and would merely forever be ‘the Clacton boys.’

So you can imagine how shocked I was to be walking around town and bump into Mark-the-blond-builder who had conveniently got himself a job in east London to be near me.  Umm… that wasn’t the plan.  I managed to detach myself from him and get on with my life with all thoughts of Clacton neatly filed away in my memory banks.  Until I met Marion.  Turned out the boy who took me for a ride on his hoover was her brother’s best friend!  Small world.  Small, small, teeny tiny world.
I’ve written before about the six degrees of separation and how it’s so easy to find people and reconnect using social media.  Had social media been around in the eighties it would no doubt have been Facebook that ensured I couldn’t escape the memories of vinegary fish and chips on the bumper cars, with a musical background provided by the incessant clanging from the amusement arcade against a backdrop of North Sea waves.

The Essex I visited last week was a far cry, and it was lovely to be out of the city heat, even for just one day.  I’m back in town this week for training sessions and meetings with new clients.  Underground tracks versus winding roads?  As Mr Essex himself says, ‘If that road gets weary, oh I love you.  Waiting here if you need me, ‘cause I love the things that you do.’

Wishing a sweet and happy new year to all my Jewish friends, family and followers – may the year ahead by filled with good health, cream cakes and sparkling success.  And if your road does get weary, follow me to a brighter one: @WeekendWitch.

Thanks for the photo Matthew Wherry

Private dancing, silver cups and entertaining real life Twitter friends

Last week I invited a man I’d met on twitter to my home for lunch.  Some of you may think this is strange, unwise or totally bonkers, but others of you will think it’s par for the course in our house.  I made friends tweeting with Robert Puzey last year and we’ve since chatted on Facebook.  He is a hugely talented songwriter with a stream of glittering awards and accolades.  If you’ve danced in a club, disco or at a school reunion, chances are you’ve sung along to lyrics written by Robert’s fair hand.

His awesome musical talent impressed us all, and his advice to Ben was invaluable.  Wasn’t all good though… I’m sorry to admit that he beat me at table tennis!  I haven’t got over it yet!!  But I am still the queen of ping pong in this house, so it’s not too bad.
And speaking of dancing, a few of you know about my exploits this week and may be expecting me to regale you with x rated tales.  Well tough luck!  This is a professional blog (and not that profession)!  But needless to say, my eyes were opened to a different side of London life.  I thought I’d seen it all…. Well, now I’ve seen it all!

Yes, my meeting with a client and potential new client was held in a pole dancing club.  Not a tasteful one, so I’m pleased I’d had my lunch at the previous venue, where all the chefs and waitresses were nicely clothed.  Although I’d seen it on TV, I was shocked by the exploitation of the dancers in real life.  Even more stunned when I was outvoted in discussions with people of all ages and both genders that it’s the dancers doing the exploiting, and good for them to find paid work rather than claiming benefits.

Anyway, I’m not discussing the moral issues here.  I have attended business meetings in all sorts of venues – after all, every business needs social media.  But it was certainly an interesting afternoon.  And no, I didn’t join in…

While we’re on the subject of dancing, you may have seen on the news that the world Tango championships took place last week.  This elegant and passionate dance (my favourite, by the way) actually originated in the slums of Argentina – in brothels, in fact!  Probably not that dissimilar to pole dancing today, although I witnessed no elegance or Flamenco-inspired gowns in Shoreditch.
Obviously, I’m not interested in a moonlight career pole dancing, but I have always fancied flicking my calves for the tango.  We had one lesson once, and weren’t too bad.  I should be good – my grandparents were European Tango champions!  They were fantastic dancers – world Charleston champions too!  Now that would have been something to tweet about!!

I might not be winning any silver cups for dancing, but I did once win a London business award for my plain English business writing training.  So let me know if you’d like me to help you write more effectively.  Or if you’d just like to dance…

As the grand old lady of pop says, I’m your private dancer, a dancer for money; I’ll do what you want me to do.  I’m your private dancer, a dancer for money – and any old music will do.

I doubt anyone would want to pay me for dancing, but if you’d like a session in London (in a more acceptable venue) to discuss your social media strategy, please get in touch… @WeekendWitch.

(Photo courtesy of vietnamdance.com, with thanks.)